The Croatian/Brazilian has scored in 1/2 his UCL games this season
The second day of Champions League knockout action is about to start, with the Ukrainian side sitting tops of their league (having won it last season) while Roma have been smacked around of late, dropping to 8th position a full thirteen points off the lead in the Serie A.
What’s the problem at Rome? There are a few injuries that are causing concern: Striker Marco Borriello has a nagging thigh injury keeping him on the bench, and preferred midfielder David Pizzaro is feeling pain from a recurring knee injury. Of some serious concern is the injury to first choice keeper Julio Sergio, who will be replaced by former first choice Doni. The Italian side should be excited to have their talisman Francesco Totti back in action, though rust may play a part in his finding space amongst the quick midfield of the Girnyky.
The ex-soviet side come into the match having bested Arsenal at home to claim top spot in their group stage. But, speaking of rust, they’re on an extended winter break and haven’t played in roughly two months now. They traveled early, hoping to become accustomed to the 60 degree change in temps (and had a chance to tour the Vatican, how lovely!). What’s most interesting perhaps is the number of samba boys on the side: Adriano (a currently effective version, not the one who may come on for 5 minutes at the end for Roma), Eduardo (Croatian…technically), William, Jádson, Costa, Teixeira, and Fernandinho (out today, unfortunately). Pretty much the entire midfield was born in South America, plus the little spark plug up top.
Roma have historically held firm against the Ukrainian side at home, though they haven’t played in a number of years now and are in the middle of a three-game slump. What’s most concerning is the lack of faith in the gaffer, with Ranieri reportedly having lost the support of his dressing room and the boardroom as well. The well-traveled manager insists nothing is wrong, though concerning the security of his job he has opined, “The coach is like the husband, he’s the last to find out about certain things.”
Champions League knockout action is upon us, so let’s take a look at what might be the most evenly matched tie of the round: Valencia CF vs FC Schalke 04.
Valencia CF
Valencia made their way into the tournament this year on the strength of their two Davids: Villa and Silva. Both moved on at the end of last season, but Valencia hasn’t missed a beat, sitting third in the table at this point and with a fantastic home record (thanks in no small part to the screaming maniacs sat up in the Estadio Mestalla). Still, Los Che don’t have a great record against German teams, having drawn five and lost one in their last six home encounters with teams from der Fatherland.
Who to look out for from the side in orange, you ask? Éver Banega, 22 yr old Argentine in the center of the pitch will look to start the forward movement with well-placed balls into the wing channels. In back the Dutch/Portugese duo of Hedwiges Maduro and Ricardo Costa (respectively) hold down the back line, while 29 yr old Frenchman Jérémy Mathieu likes to attack from his position at left back. Mehmet Topal (aka the Spider) hasn’t seen much love from his Turkish national side of late, but he’s a mean defensive midfielder who will be responsible for breaking the wave of the German offensive movement.
Up the right wing we’ll see the crafty Spaniard Pablo, who is always looking to lob a keeper he spots off his line (his matchup with Schalke’s left back Schmitz will be key). And at the point of the spear are Soldado and Aduriz (the later tending to come off the bench of late, but he’s also the teams top scorer this season). Soldado is particularly fired up, “This is the most important match of our lives and we must go for the jugular in order to try to take the tie.”
FC Schalke 04
Schalke sit at 10th in the Bundesliga, but that position is a bit deceiving. They have arguably one of the top goalkeepers in the world with the young world cup hero Manuel Neuer (sure to be in the running at Man United when Van der Sar wanders out to pasture at the end of the season), and a back four anchored by Christoph Metzelder, who, though almost always injured, has still managed to pick up 50 caps for his home country while also playing in two World Cups.
In midfield we hope to see Anthony Annan, a recent transfer into the squad during the mid-winter break, and a standout for one of our favorite World Cup sides: the Black Stars of Ghana! Also in midfield, where he should really keep his width on the left but instead tends to duck inside, exposing his left back to waves of overlapping attacks, is Jose Jurado, who plied his trade at Atletico Madrid before moving to Die Königsblauen. His opposite side is occupied by the Peruvian Farfán (there’s your line hugger).
Up top is the off-again/on-again dutchman Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, once a fixture at Real Madrid, alongside another fella a lot of folks may know from his time at Los Blancos — Raúl González Blanco. Obviously the team is more than one player, but this one in particular has struck at the heart of many a Spanish side over his sixteen years with Real Madrid (323 times to be exact). He’ll draw quite a few marks, and if fit we may see him play a full 90 minutes, a luxury he didn’t often receive with the young challengers on rotation in the Spanish capital.
Prediction
A balanced game but the key will be Pablo up the right wing for Valencia. Put history aside for this one as the men in orange will work themselves a 2-0 victory to take into the second leg.
Javier Camuñas’ toe poke after a mess of a defensive play was just enough to bring victory to the Pamplona side, who saw off Real Madrid from their lowly spot at the edge of the relegation zone. The 30 yr old Spaniard was the bright spot in attack for the team who are a full 30 points behind their opponents, and though he’ll take most of the praise today it was in fact the defensive effort that gave Los Rojillos the chance at the win.
Madrid were stifled at every turn, and when they did manage to work a pass through to the front, it was only to find Benzema in an offside position. Di Maria was lacklustre on the right wing, and Ronaldo tried dipping inside, as he does, but his shots were forced from 30 yards out and mostly went sailing into the stands. The team throughout was uninspired.
After the goal came at the hour mark, Mourinho made three quick substitutions, putting in Kaka, Alonso (who had a fever, and looked like it), and the new signing Adebayor. With three at the back now Benzema and the Togolese man shared space at the top, while Ozil shifted to the right allowing Kaka to slot in underneath the strikers. They picked up the pace but still couldn’t penetrate Osasuna’s stiff defense. Adebayor was clearly not match ready, and looked sluggish both with and without the ball. Kaka tried a desperation shot from the same area where Ronaldo had been sending them into the stands, and there was absolutely nothing getting through on net.
The home side looked like they might even add to the total, the linesman’s flag the only thing keeping them from running through onto the end of a counterattacking pass. But one goal turned out to be enough to fell the Madrid giants, who now find themselves a full 7 points behind Barcelona – two wins and a draw, surely signaling another championship for the Catalans.
Two semifinals gone (one actually exciting, sorry Hammers fans for that tough extra time loss) and we’re on to Wembley at the end of February with Birmingham City and Arsenal for the league cup. This one’s been traditionally contested by mid-table teams since it’s seen as a mostly meaningless achievement, that is until they changed the format to reward the victor with a Europa League berth (previously winners would gain entry to the UEFA Cup tourney).
That sort of reward would certainly drive a team like Birmingham (who have in fact won the cup once, back in 1963), but what of the Arsenal, whose manager famously remarked back in 2009, “If you win the League Cup, can you honestly say you have won a trophy?” Looks like a couple more years without any hardware have changed the man’s mind, as the competition was once described by the Frenchman as “…a competition for our younger players. If I don’t play them here where would I play them?” You may have noticed, by the by, that the team he’s been sending out in the competition this season is pretty close to his starting XI for premiership action.
Still, it’s good to see Arsenal actually trying to win what has been deemed the “Worthless Cup” and the “Mickey Mouse Cup”. The idea being tossed around is that any cup win is just the spark the team needs to bring more trophies, and quick. We’ll know before the final if they’ll be proceeding toward the most sought after trophy around (Champions League, ‘natch), though it looks unlikely they’ll get by high-flying Barcelona.
Now, a quick historical assessment of Birmingham City vs Arsenal. The teams have met 116 times in all competitions, the first time being back in 1905. Aside for a spell in in the 1950s, Arsenal have dominated the meetings, and own a record of 54 wins and 34 draws to their 28 losses. Mostly known as a tough-tackling, defense-first side, the West Midlands club have been improving their football the past couple of seasons though they find themselves currently on the cusp of relegation. They may be most notable to Arsenal fans for Taylor’s horrific ankle breaking tackle on Eduardo. We haven’t shown the full extent of the injury here, but you’re welcome to do a quick youtube search to see the lad’s foot flap around backwards.
Ex-Togo international Emmanuel Adebayor has completed his move from the stands of the Eastlands to a place on the pitch at the Bernabéu. It’s no shock that he was destined to make a move in this transfer window, seeing as he’d fallen to fifth in the Man City striker pecking order (behind even Jo, of all people). His training ground fight with Kolo Toure at the start of the month was an obvious indication of his frustration (though the two have apparently been at each other in some manner since their time together at Arsenal). How well will he do in Madrid? Considering he’s joining a coach who consistently gets the best out of his players, we imagine he’ll be back on top of his game in no time. It won’t hurt to be removed from the antagonistic relationship with Toure.
Abdebayor and Toure training ground skirmish
When their fight first happened, and it was revealed that theirs was a longstanding animosity, we thought perhaps the issues ran deeper than the training ground, and perhaps even so deep as national pride. Toure is Ivorian, while Adebayor is Togolese, but the countries are separated by Ghana, and don’t seem to have had much interaction in the way of modern conflict. Knowing as we do about language traits of natural-born Africans (the population generally knows a minimum of three languages: a European/colonial language (usually german/english/french in the west), an African language (often within the Niger-Congo language group, again in the west), and a very refined tribal language. Toure is Mandinka, a very large and old ethnic group that doesn’t extend into Togo. We’re uncertain of Adebayor’s tribal associations, but we’re pretty confident he’s not Mandinka. It’s not a stretch to think there’s been some baiting going on based on tribal stereotyping.
Further on this, let’s take a look at an 18th century European-made map of the Gold Coast (that includes tribal divisions, to some degree, and trading outposts). Overlaying a modern map, we’d see a run of African countries that have provided us with the best football from the continent—Cote d’Ivoire, Ghana, Togo, Cameroon, Nigeria are all along this coast. There’s not a ton to say about this map other than suggesting we appreciate it’s historical significance, and we wish we knew more about the history of tribal conflict in the area. (Also, unlike the editors of the newly sanitized edition of Huckleberry Finn, we think it’s important for us all to remember the proper history of names and naming, to appreciate the power of language, and to the understand importance of learning about the past to help inform our actions in the future.)
18th Century Gold Coast of Africa (from Univerisity of Florida Archives)
The USMNT played a friendly against La Roja yesterday evening, and snatched back a draw toward the end when Kansas City striker Teal Bunbury (born a Canuck, btw) converted a 75th minute penalty. We couldn’t tell you how the game was, or how the teams looked, but we can share the goal call from Telefutura. Also included here, the inevitable remix.
In what should come as no shock to any of us, Roy Hodgson took the axe today as Liverpool replaced him with fan-favorite Kenny Dalglish. We’ve had a soft spot for Hodgson, what with his classy subdued demeanor and his leading of Fulham into the top six plus Europa final over the last two season.
Sadly, he never got it going at Liverpool. The players didn’t seem to want to play for him, and when you’re working with a squad of also-rans, you need to encourage them to perform above their level. His side seemed more willing to coast on Liverpool’s storied history, hoping the very thought of the team would upset opponents and win them games. That’s not to say Roy didn’t have a hand in their failure, and once he lost the support of the fans there was really no way he could continue on in the post.
Stepping in is Liverpool favorite Kenny Daglish, an eight-time league winner with Liverpool in the 70s and 80s as a player, including three titles as a player-manager. He was also on the side for three European Cup triumphs. He’s been out of the game for a decade, and it’ll be interesting to see if his take on current tactics will be up to par (though we expect he’s mostly been installed to inject some passion into a side more than capable of reaching a top six position by end of season). As for now he’s considered an interim solution, but we’ll see if good results suggest a longer term.
The year has come to a close, and as is the fashion we’re looking over our favorite stories to compile a starting eleven, Cult Football style. The players on our squad aren’t always the most talented, but they tend to bring a joy, or promise, or general absurdity to the game. We hope you’ve enjoyed the time you’ve spent with us over the last six months, and here’s a wish of good fortune to all in the new year!
Now without further ado, our Cult Football XI selection for 2010.
Strikers
We could fill a whole team with these egomaniacs if we employed the 1-9 formation so popular in the nineteenth century. Instead, we’re going with the classic two up top (we haven’t quite caught up with the 4-2-3-1 formation that’s all the rage nowadays). We passed on a lot of great players for these two: Forlan and Suarez from Uruguay were strong contenders (especially after Suarez bit the neck of a defender), Rooney’s troubled genius act nearly earned him a spot, and Tevez is clearly a nut, so that’d be fun. But setting all them and more aside, we’ve gone with two of our absolute favorites:
Antonio Cassano
Antonio CassanoThe once Sampdoria, Roma, Real Madrid and Bari player (where he earned his nickname Il Gioiello di Bari Vecchia) has landed at Milan after a crazy spell at i blucerchiati, where he fought openly with the team’s president before being removed from the club entirely. We like him up at the top of our formation where his outrageous talent can be most effective – mooning the opposing fans behind the net.
Asamoah Gyan We’ve made no secret of our love of this fella, though it’s true we didn’t know him from a Boateng brother before his showing for Ghana in the World Cup. Yes he’s a good player with a bucketful of speed, and he scores some outrageous goals alongside his terrible misses (that World Cup penalty miss stands out, doesn’t it?) but what sealed his spot on our squad is his dancing ability. His moves are so infectious even Bolo Zenden was drawn in, though his home country has since issued a stern reprimand plus cease and desist injunction lest the Netherlander set back the course of Dutch dance any further.
Midfielders
Our preference for four in the midfield is further refined with the inclusion of two attacking and two defending midfielders. Yes, our side plays straight up the middle, because everyone knows you only play wingers when you want to give the camera good close-ups. We’re no slaves to the broadcasters, so we’re packing the center, and to hell with width!
Ganso
Paulo Henrique Chagas de Lima Ganso: Though he wasn’t on the Dunga’s World Cup squad this summer, the 21 yr old Brazilian attacking midfielder has caught many the eye of European super clubs for his quality in Santos’ midfield. His teammate Neymar drew a lot of attention for his stylish goalscoring abilities, though you can argue that Neymar would never be in position to drive the ball home without the deft passing of his compatriot. He’s one for the future of the Seleção, and you can expect him to be in European club ball at the start of the 2011-12 campaign. Also, he shares his name with our favorite Muppet.
Anderson “Hernanes” de Carvalho Andrade Lima: Hernanes only just came into our view with his absolute demolition of the Inter midfield in Lazio’s 3-1 victory in Rome. He won the Prêmio Craque do Brasileirão while playing for São Paulo in 2008, and now that he’s running the show on his Seria A side comparisons with the long-time injured Kaka have started flowing. At 25 he’s not the most youthful specimen, but his composure and delivery remains mature beyond his (European) field experience, and his later-in-life move from his home country may be a sign of changing practices in player development – how often teenage Brazilians head overseas only to be lost in the shuffle, while we only hear of the successes.
Nigel de Jong
Nigel de Jong: With two unselfish attacking midfielders on our XI, it’s time to add some bite, and no one has as much determination to rip off an opponent’s leg as does the bald Dutchman. He’s broken so many of his opponent’s bones that his own national team coach banned him from the squad for rough play on his club team, and who could forget the flying karate kick into the chest of Alonso in the World Cup final? Besides being a tough tackler, the guy can actually play. He brings the ball out of the back (and none of the opposition wants to get too close) and tends to find the right man to start the movement into the attacking third. It would be nice to see him take a hard shot across the face, just to see how he reacts, but for now we expect he’ll continue snapping the bones of limp-footed attackers.
Juan Carlos RojasRomita, as he’s called by fans, toiled away in second division Mexican football until he got his big break a couple years back, making it up to Pachuca where he starts in defensive midfield for the current CONCACAF Champions League holders. But it’s not for his field play that we’ve selected him. Instead it’s for his ability between the sticks. When Pachuca went down to 10 men in October after deploying all substitutes (their goalie going off for a red card tackle in the box), Rojas threw on the gloves, stepped into the goal, and proceeded to knock away a well-driven spot kick to preserve the side’s 1-1 draw. You never know when you’ll need a handler to come from an on-field position – it’s what you call “thinking ahead”.
Defenders
Sturdy rocks in the back center with a sociopath on the right and a young track star on the left, our defensive line is no lot of milquetoasts. We spread the backs wide since we have all that space up the wings (just in case Sky sports threatens to withhold our ad share) but for the most part we just encourage dumping the ball in so we can elbow you in the temple.
David Weir
David WeirThe Rangers captain caught our eye in his side’s Champions League visit to Old Trafford, bringing a steadying, experienced presence to the center of our defense, and as most of the team respect the elderly they do as he says. The man is as old as the hills, and looks it. He spent the first few seasons of his career in Scotland, working his way through Falkrik and Hearts before signing with Everton, where he captained the side under two managers. After 8 1/2 season in the EPL he went back home to Rangers, where just last year he received the Scottish Football Writers’ Association Player of the Year Award (this just 3 days before his 40th birthday). He’s now taken some part time work in TV advertising, most recently as a Touch of Gray model.
Johan Danon Djourou-Gbadjere We didn’t think too highly at first of the Johan Djourou, the Ivorian-born, Swiss defender for the Gunners. We were mostly drawn to his Africaness, as we’re always looking to track the origins of immigrants through colonizing powers. We initially criticized his lack of pace and poor positioning, but he’s grown on us (and Wegner, apparently, who started him against Chelsea and Man City). He’s also never played for Arsenal when they’ve done anything but win, so he must be doing something right out there. At 23 he’s got plenty of good years ahead of him so we’re happy to have gotten our hooks in this early.
Jose Pedroso Our right back is another defensive tough man (because di Jong might get caught up the field, and you need another guy who isn’t afraid to push the limits back there). The former Rangers player (of Chile’s second division) became incensed after referee Marcelo Miranda insisted the opposing team retake a penalty kick four times due to perceived infractions. On the fourth the goal was finally made, setting off Pedroso and earning him a yellow for dissent. That quickly turned into a second yellow for a violent tackle, but instead of leaving the field Pedrosa charged the ref and tried to strangle the life out of him. Quote the player, “I’m not the least bit sorry.” Neither are we, Jose. Neither are we.
Patrick van Aanholt Another Dutchman earns a place on our squad, for potential if nothing more. His is a name to remember, as the 20 year old was very impressive in his one run out for Chelsea that we’ve seen, scoring one against his former loan-side Newcastle and setting up Anelka for another. The young man is fast as lightening, and has a great touch. If Chelsea didn’t already have a great left back, we’d be seeing this kid every week. On our squad he gets the start, because we like to encourage young talent, you see.
Manuel Neuer
Goalie
Plenty to choose from, but only one has the combination of youth and sturdy looks we need in front of the photogs net.
Manuel Neuer The German national team’s first-choice goalie is also our selection for keeper, not least because of his inclusion as one of the World Cup’s Most Valuable Hotties. He was so dreamy that our columnist couldn’t even begin to describe his features, leaving her in a catatonic state that was only snapped by 100 ccs of peach schnapps. The guy showed up for the Germans when they needed him most (only getting his chance because choices before him crapped out), and now he’s looking to transfer from Schalke to Bayern Munich. Big moves, but could any be bigger than his Cult Football XI selection? Unlikely.
Two semifinals gone (one actually exciting, sorry Hammers fans for that tough extra time loss) and we’re on to Wembley at the end of February with Birmingham City and Arsenal for the league cup. This one’s been traditionally contested by mid-table teams since it’s seen as a mostly meaningless achievement, that is until they changed the format to reward the victor with a Europa League berth (previously winners would gain entry to the UEFA Cup tourney).
Ex-Togo international Emmanuel Adebayor has completed his move from the stands of the Eastlands to a place on the pitch at the Bernabéu. It’s no shock that he was destined to make a move in this transfer window, seeing as he’d fallen to fifth in the Man City striker pecking order (behind even Jo, of all people). His training ground fight with Kolo Toure at the start of the month was an obvious indication of his frustration (though the two have apparently been at each other in some manner since their time together at Arsenal). How well will he do in Madrid? Considering he’s joining a coach who consistently gets the best out of his players, we imagine he’ll be back on top of his game in no time. It won’t hurt to be removed from the antagonistic relationship with Toure.
The year has come to a close, and as is the fashion we’re looking over our favorite stories to compile a starting eleven, Cult Football style. The players on our squad aren’t always the most talented, but they tend to bring a joy, or promise, or general absurdity to the game. We hope you’ve enjoyed the time you’ve spent with us over the last six months, and here’s a wish of good fortune to all in the new year!
