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Matches to Watch This Weekend – New Year’s Edition (Jan 1-2, 2011)

December 31, 2010 — by Sean

As you sit nursing your hangover, why not turn to the headache-soothing action of Premier Leauge play? We know of no better way to pass through the haze of the year’s first day into the clarity you’ll need to fight the future’s impending troubles. You know the sort of things we mean: climate change, declining standards of education, goal line technology, and so forth.

Saturday, Jan 1

West Brom-Manchester United, 7:45am ESPN2, ESPND The Baggies are a fun side to watch, and at home they’ll be less inclined to sit back and defend against the current table-toppers. Not that they know how. The team likes to attack, and since they’ll be missing two starting backs their best bet is to keep the ball in the offensive third. United are heavy favorites, but they may find themselves on the back foot now and again.

Liverpool-Bolton, 10am FSP Anfield is not the fortress it’s been for so, so long, and the home fans have taken to booing the squad’s crap performances of late. Bolton, with our boy Stu Holden firming up the center, have been the mid-table team done well this year and are pushing to secure their place in Europe (let’s not forget they were in danger of relegation this time last season). Liverpool will be hard pressed to deal with the Wanderers’ quick counterattack, and unless Torres can get his head screwed on right they’ll never pierce the Bolton backline.

Birmingham v Arsenal, 12:30pm FSC Birmingham have an excellent home record, and have drawn Manchester United & City, Spurs and Liverpool at home, while handing Chelsea a defeat. Arsenal come in after a poor performance by their second squad got them but a draw against Wigan, and they’ll need to put forward a tougher side while balancing the starters rest, what with the big clash with City coming four days later.

Tottenham-Fulham, 2:30pm FSC, Fox Deportes (tape delay) The Cottagers should pose no problem for the Spurs, seeing as the home side is flying, and the visitors are floundering. We like Mark Hughes for his classy ways, but how long will this guy get to keep his post? Too bad for Hodgson as well, maybe he should’ve stayed with the boys from London.

Sunday, Jan 2

Chelsea-Aston Villa, 8:30am FSC, Fox Deportes Have Chelsea gotten their season back on track? Probably not just yet, but the gutsy win against Bolton have them headed in the right direction. Lampard is back and though not up to speed just yet, his vision has been sorely missed. Villa have had a mediocre showing this season, but we’ll tune in anyway for a chance to see if one of our next generation US backs can make it in the top flight

Wigan v Newcastle, FSC 11am We’re not terribly interested in this game, though Carroll has been a lot of fun to watch as he torments defenses Drogba-style. Still, the 11am slot is just right as it’s the perfect time to turn on the game and let the gruelingly slow pace of this one lull you into a late morning nap.

Commentary News

Mario Balotelli Gets Lucky

December 28, 2010 — by Sean — 1

We tuned into the Man City v Aston Villa match for one reason today, to watch Villa’s American right back Eric Lichaj. The 22 yr old was impressive in shutting down Gareth Bale in their loss to Spurs two days ago, and we though maybe he could replicate the performance today. No such luck. Against Spurs, Lichaj showed pace equal to Bale, made a number of impressive stops, and even had a chance at the end of the game to pull back a tying goal.

Lichaj’s first contribution today against City was to offer Mario Balotelli the chance to flop and earn a penalty. The cocky Italian felt a hand on his should and went down as if a piano had fallen on him. He then converted the penalty kick to put City ahead. City’s next goal was probably not a goal as it looked to be headed off the line, and then their third, a Balotelli tap-in, came from an offside position.

Gifted three goals City played keep away and Villa didn’t have much chance to get back into the flow. Balotelli then converted another penalty to score a hat trick, pumping his head full of more hot air after just receiving the World Young Player of the Year award last week. His closest competition for that trophy was 18 yr old Jack Wilshire who has been playing well, and holding down a starting role at Arsenal. Had Balotelli heard of him?

“What’s his name? Wil…? No, I just don’t know him, but the next time I play against Arsenal I’ll try to be careful. Maybe I could show him the Golden Boy trophy and remind him that I won.”

He’ll have a chance next week when Arsenal meet City, though it’s unlikely Balotelli – the man who has proclaimed himself the best player in the world besides Messi – will get on the field earlier than the 70th minute.

Commentary Video

Merry Christmas to All!

December 25, 2010 — by Sean

Santa has reverse-burgled us again and we’re about to settle into another day of family and feasting, but before we do let’s look at the happenings in global football… Well what do you know, not a definitive thing going on anywhere.

Yes there are transfer rumors swirling around every club, but nothing is certain and managers are mostly talking loans rather than long-term contracts. We’ll see a few people shuffle of course: Edin Dzeko could leave Wolfburg for a top tier team, Adebayor, Santa Cruz and Robbie Keane are likely to shift squads, Ganso may set off from Brazil for foreign shores, maybe Kaka moves back to Italy where he could face Shay Given between the sticks in Rome, Manuel Neuer could find his way to Munich from Schalke—the list is nearly endless. Rather than continue on in this haphazard vein, let’s all agree to check back in when the transfer window is just about shut, and in the meantime say a little prayer that the snow lets up long enough for us to enjoy some holiday matches from merry ol’ England.

As our gift to you, please enjoy this 1971 animated version of A Christmas Carol.

Commentary

Oh Asamoah, How You Endear Yourself to Us

December 23, 2010 — by Sean — 1

Asamoah Gyan is a favorite around these parts, not least because of his character. Yes, he’s a speedy striker with an eye for slamming the ball into the ol’ onion sack, but what makes him loved is his pure enjoyment of the game (obvious to all if only for the joy in his celebrations).

It’s easy to forget how the 25 yr old was only a teen when Cantona ruled at Old Trafford, and as the Black Cats are slated to line up against United in a few dozen hours Gyan has been caught reminiscing over his youth spent watching the Manchester elite:

This will be my first-ever visit to Old Trafford and I have been waiting a very long time for it. I have supported Manchester United since I was a small boy and my hero was Eric Cantona. My dad was a fan for many years before that. He was a defender and his favourite player was Gary Pallister. I didn’t get to watch a lot of highlights although I remember watching the whole of their Champions League final against Bayern Munich in 1999 with my dad.

I hope I can score a goal for Sunderland against them because that would mean so much to me and my family. But I will also try and swap shirts. That will definitely happen although I don’t know whose shirt I want. Any player.

Baby Jesus, please let Asamoah score a game winner. This guy is a genuine player and a true good-hearted spirit. Black Stars to Black Cats. And here is future wife:

Asia Commentary General Knowledge

South Koreans Abroad

December 23, 2010 — by Sean

Seeing as part of the CultFootball family is currently enveloped in all things Korean, it seems as good a time as any to work up a little overview of the mother country’s most important players overseas (especially considering the conversation about the Reds that just happened over roast gui). Let’s break it down, list style:

Son Heung-Min Hamburger SV – An 18 yr old striker who has earned the affectionate nickname “The Korean Müller” for a rash of goals in the Bundesliga preseason before he picked up an injury that sat him out for a few months. On his first game back this season he scored against Koln, making him the youngest goalscorer in Bundesliga history.

Cha Du-Ri Celtic – The 30 yr old is well traveled, having been born in Germany then playing for Bayer Leverkusen, Eintract Frankfurt, and a couple others before landing at Celtic this year. He started his career as a winger, but shifted to a right back midway through his career. He sees limited time in Glasgow but with his experience he is an excellent option in a pinch.

Kim Nam-il Tom Tomsk – At 33 years the defensive midfielder is invaluable to the Russian side, breaking up opposing attacking play and distributing calmly to start the offense. He was well known in Korea during the 2002 World Cup, where he managed to earn hordes of female followers for being a sexy bad boy. He’s generally outspoken and doesn’t seem to give a damn about the Confucian backbone of Korean culture, speaking to elders as if they were his equals…the maniac!

Park Ji-Sung Manchester United – Undoubtedly the best-known Korean playing anywhere in the world, the 29 yr old winger is a mainstay of Sir Alex’s side, and he’s been key in United maintaining top marks this season. United picked him from PSV Eindhoven where he’d scored 13 goals in 60-odd games. He’s quick, plays with intelligence, and along with Giggs and Scholes has become one of the old men of United, brought out when the team needs an injection of experienced quality. We could go on for some time on this one, but you probably come in knowing enough about him already.

Commentary News

Landon Donovan Takes a Rest

December 22, 2010 — by Sean

After his fantastic showing in Liverpool last winter, Evertonians were abuzz over bringing the little speedster back to Goodison. They weren’t alone. Plenty of us in the States were hoping for his return to the people’s club, and a good many of us were hoping for a more permanent move. Everton is a club that’s easy to follow for the drama alone – they’ve a solid squad with an attractive style that tends to get down before fighting back in the second half of the season. Donovan as part of that struggle made for great drama, and his quality displayed on such a big stage brought some tiny increase in respect for the game coming out of america.

Were the Merseysiders really that enamored of the man? Just check out the 400 pages of comments in this Everton forum: Sir Landon of Donovan.

But while he would’ve been very welcome on loan, Landon has sat himself out for the winter, and who can really blame him? He’s played almost nonstop for two years, what with the spring-fall MLS season, loans to Bayern Munich then Everton in the winters, and the World Cup last summer, he’s had all of 2 months off out of 24. Let’ snot forget he’s pushing thirty, and those muscles and joints starts to ache all the more at the turn of one’s third decade (just ask anyone in La Liga Fabulosa).

So we’ll see him again with the Galaxy come Spring, and maybe he’ll have Ronaldinho alongside him in attack? According to certain sources, the Galaxy have made a $40M offer to Milan for the chubby Brazilian. We’ll see about that, but one thing is for certain, Donovan will stay in LA for the time being.

News

Goodbye, Rafa

December 21, 2010 — by Sean

To no one’s surprise at all, Rafa Benitez has been run out of Milan after taking a squad of champions, injuring half of them and leading the rest to seventh place in Serie A, 13 points off the lead at the Christmas break.

Who didn’t see this coming? We certainly did:

Benitez took a team with no changes to the side that won the Serie A title and the Champion’s League title last year, and has them 6 points off the lead and currently out of a Champion’s league qualifying position. His response, (I paraphrase) “I need new players in the transfer window.”

We finished up that particular post with:

Soon you will be exposed as a fraud and run out of Italy.

Who else might be happy to see you get your due? Perhaps the Special One, who back in August had this to say:

“One thing is certain, Benítez won’t do better than me at Inter. Another thing is also true that, should he lift the Intercontinental Cup, he will have only won two games compared to my 13. Therefore it will be my trophy and not his.”

Of course, what else could Inter president Massimo Moratti do after Benitez destroyed his beloved Inter over the course of five short months, only to then issue this ultimatum upon winning the Intercontinental Cup (which was apparently really Mourinho’s trophy anyway):

“There are three possibilities for the club. One, 100 per cent support for the coach and buy four or five players to build a stronger team with competition among the players to be able to carry on winning matches and trophies. Two, carry on like this without a project, without planning, and go ahead with one person to blame for the whole season getting to May this way. The third is to speak to my agent and reach an agreement if there is not this support. Simple.”

Speaking such from such a weak position, Rafa had to expect the axe. If only Liverpool had gotten rid of him sooner they might not be in such dire straights.

Goodbye Rafa. We only hope you don’t next turn up a club we actively support.

Commentary

Attack of the Snoods

December 21, 2010 — by Sean

It’s very cold in England these days. Well, very cold FOR England at least. All that snow and gusting northern winds makes a chilly day’s work for the men in shorts. Long socks take care of part of the leg, wicking compression shorts cover the rest. More thermal material for the chest, but what about the poor naked neck?

Enter: the snood. First seen warming the adam’s apple of Turin fashionisto Gigi Buffon (not to forget Francesco Totti’s contribution), the plush neck cozy has made an impact in active play in this year’s Prem campaign. We may have let it pass if not for the abundance of them in the City v Everton match: Carlos Tevez may have been the first to don the floppy piece of fabric for City, but in this latest game he was joined by teammates Balotelli, Toure and Silva. You’ve also got Chamakh and Nasri wearing them at Arsenal, and Maxi and Reina over at ‘pool.

For now it’s only foreign-born players from warmer climates, but given the tendency for winter to become colder in January and February, it’s only a matter of time before an englishman falls. Odds suggest it’ll be James Milner, both because of peer pressure at City as much as for him trying to disguise his complete lack of a neck.

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