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CommentaryEnglandNews

The Wormburner: Mock Draft This

July 26, 2019 — by Rob Kirby2

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A mock draft is the way to go, 100 percent. I should here admit that I have never partaken of draft mockery and have no immediate plans to do so. No plans to rectify fantasy footballing deficits, no plans to better myself. It would seem pointless then to talk about a hypothetical mock draft--and hypocritical?--having always rejected it for theoretically taking too much time or exacting too steep a cost in the transaction of one’s soul. So, how about we reel that one back all quick-like and I just propose a list. Withdraw from the super-official full-on rehearsal wedding and propose a gentler advance planning in a more minimum-effort sort of way. Unless that sounds too pushy. Welcome back to the Wormburner, where the topic of the day is all things drafting, minus most things drafting. A couple thoughts on prep for the draft. One on mental visualization, at least. Past seasons (for

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CommentaryEnglandNews

The Wormburner: A Whole Lotta Questions (Fantasy Football, Draft)

July 9, 2019 — by Rob Kirby

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The transfer window is hardest on the fantasy manager who just asks for a few simple certainties in life. They won’t be forthcoming. The Premier League landscape appeared vaguely comprehensible by season’s end. Since then, shifting sands and tectonic plates have taken on new shape. Would it be a stretch to say it has changed beyond recognition? Yes. In fact, that would be an excellent example of overblown histrionics. But somewhere between here and there. Manchester City broke the club’s transfer record for £62 million holding midfielder Rodri, the former Atlético Madrid man famous enough to command a five-letter moniker but not famous enough to have been familiar to the author of this sentence. One day, it’s “Rodri is a name most people will not recognize.” The next, it’s “Meet Rodri, our new overlord.”  Meanwhile, the job-share between Sergio Agüero and Gabriel Jesus remains tricky. A packed midfield of Raheem Sterling,

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BrazilCommentaryDispatchesEnglandEuropeGermanyThe AmericasUnited StatesWorld Cup

U.S. Takes Top Prize, Fast and Furious; Fellow Daughters of the British Empire Leap Forward, Swiftly, Less Furiously

July 14, 2015 — by Rob Kirby

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As breaking news to no one, Brandi Chastain ripped off her jersey after the famous 1999 Women's World Cup penalty shootout final victory, punctuating the U.S. women's national team’s second taking of the top prize in soccer with a classic photo finish, cameramen lapping up her iconic knee drop and sports-bra reveal. The Americans won the debut trophy in 1991, but 1999 represented the moment when the team first captured the hearts and minds of the American public. Sixteen long years then transpired before the team and country would again celebrate another, on both the day of the 5-2 victory over Japan in Vancouver on July 5 and again in New York City at a ticker tape parade custom ordered for the occasion. In nearly as notable news, England shrugged off the indifference of a nation to make the semifinals and dispatch Germany in the third-place playoff of the 2015

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CommentaryEnglandTactics

Winning Ugly: Mourinho Style

April 6, 2015 — by Sanibel

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Like a Wes Anderson film or a Kurt Vonnegut book, Mourinho’s teams have a distinct and recognizable style. They’re known to “park the bus” and happily take a 1-0 win. His forwards are fully expected to track back and anyone unwilling to do so will be sold (Mata’s fate) unceremoniously. Mourinho’s style has become full-blown at Chelsea where it was only nascent and semi-developed at his earlier clubs. Unsurprisingly, some scoff that it wants for aesthetic pleasure. There are two basic storylines for a Chelsea under Mourinho (part II) win. First: Score early, play complacently, allow an equalizer, score a last gasp winner. Second: eighty-five minutes without scoring, frustratingly large number of corners that amount to nothing, jammy goal right before stoppage time. Chelsea's recent league match against Hull City was met with disapproval and classified as a typical Chelsea skin-of-their-teeth win. The disapproval is born of a belief that

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CommentaryEnglandEuropeThe AmericasUnited States

Rubio Rubin, Blast from the U-17 Past

March 30, 2015 — by Rob Kirby

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[Editor’s note: Rubio Rubin featured as a 67-minute substitute for Aron Johansson in Wednesday's 3-2 loss to Denmark and won his first cap for the full-blown USMNT. Originally commissioned by the Sarasota Herald Tribune to Rob Kirby in December 2011 but ultimately unpublished, this article featured a 15-year-old and U-17 Residency Program standout Rubio Rubin, before those heady heights. Congratulations, Rubin!] For two years, the crop of under-17 soccer players in the U.S. national team housed at the 350-acre IMG sports complex in Bradenton live and breathe soccer. They keep their eyes fixed firmly on the prize of representing their country at the 2013 U-17 World Cup in the United Arab Emirates. The top trophy represents the culmination of a 24-month dream. This newest group of 15 year olds, 32 boys all born in 1996, left home in August and moved into the all-expenses-paid U.S. U-17 residency program, with a

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Champions LeagueCommentaryEnglandEuropeGermany

My Kingdom for a Shin Pad: Dortmund Daytrippin’

September 18, 2014 — by Tyler

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Aw, c'mon guys. Why so glum? We ripped Besiktas apart, 1-0, over two games! We beat Crystal Palace, 2-1--but it was at the Emirates! 17th place Crystal Palace! And Red Bulls! Wait, we lost to the freaking Red Bulls? On the bright side, we face Aston Villa on the road in a few days. 2nd place, undefeated Aston Villa. No sweat. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!? Arsenal has seen worse Champions League losses for sure. But yesterday kind of felt like that competition's version of the 8-2 at Old Trafford a few years ago. Gibbs looked pretty decent yesterday. And Ox, for that 30 minutes he played, was great. But one of those two will be hurt by October, so don't get too excited. Szczesny kept it from being 4-0 or 5-0 (but so did Dortmund's serial diver, Mkhitaryan, with his repeated shots off target). Yet even the Arsenal keeper

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England

Civilian Soccer Tyrants: Leeds and Massimo

August 19, 2014 — by Rob Kirby

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Northern English football fans are usually all-in or all-out. At Leeds United, however, the roller coaster highs and lows over the past decade have inner-ear imbalanced supporters. After a rogues gallery of financial disaster club owners, they remain wary of a flashy, volatile new Italian guy for whom "eccentric" puts it mildly. They could be excused for remaining cautiously fill_in_the_blank. (This said by someone who has never been to olde town Leeds and whose defining viewing moment involving the team begins and ends with the storybook match-winning FA Cup goal from an on-loan MLS Thierry Henry a few years back.) But as of August 3, Massimo Cellino, eccentric Italian entrepreneur, convicted fraud and serial sacker of coaches, announced he's buying back the LUFC stadium grounds that the club's broke ass previously had to sell, so that's positive, yes? Yes, Leeds fans? I'll take that grumbled assent as cautiously optimistic. And

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CommentaryDispatchesUnited States

Feeling friendly: 5 goals in 60 minutes

August 11, 2014 — by Tyler

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It's not the name of a motivational seminar. It was another sprint to Denver and back for the sake of the game. In 2013 there was the U.S./Costa Rica blizzard bowl. Today was the haul-ass that was Manchester United/AS Roma. The tickets were a birthday gift from family, and it was a worthy spectacle in terms of cost and effort. My sister and I agreed to meet at a parking lot at 1:15 so that we would have ample time to walk over to Sports Authority Field at Mile High, and you'd think we would have the logistics down by now. We both left our homes in different cities, we figured we'd given ourselves enough time, and each of us was late for the 2PM kickoff. She was late to the meeting place but early enough that she'd have gotten into the game with plenty of time, if it weren't

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