New York Red Bulls defeat San Jose Earthquakes 1-0 on Saturday. Which means what? New York has an advantage when they play San Jose on Thursday, November 4th. Lovely. More importantly, a team of happy (and handsome) soccer players landed at John F. Kennedy International Airport the same time my flight from Miami finally decided to pull into the gate. A perfect coincidence.
A few of my besties and I were tired and cranky after a sleepless weekend of Halloween fun. To boot, our pilot did not make the best landing and took a liking to frequent intercom communication. Anger. That is until the three of us exited the baggage claim restroom and collectively spun our heads around, halting all conversation. We somehow managed to shuffle ourselves among a group of ridiculously handsome men. Who are these boys? Where did they come from?
We channeled our high school selves and congregated by the luggage belt. What’s the plan? Sports team? They have to be. Don’t ask. High school? Too young. College? Still too young. Matching outfits. Sponsored? What sport? Matching Adidas. Soccer! Red Bulls jacket. Ding ding! Too easy. A few players stroll past us. What to do? Some wear wedding bands. Eww. Still handsome. Just off limits. Next move? They are headed to Starbucks. Does someone need coffee? “Grande pumpkin spice latte, please.” No coffee for the team. They disappear out the doors and onto a bus. Should we follow? “I will give you all the money in my bank account if you get on the bus.” Could be ten dollars. Could be ten thousand dollars. No takers. There go our husbands.
Post-stalking, we immediately try to find who we’ve actually fallen in love with. After quick consultations with Google and the Red Bulls website, we remember the following players:
Juan Pablo Angel. Captain. 6’1”. 35. Has at least one child. Possibly married. Outlook not awesome.
Seth Stammler. 5’9”. 29. Retiring after 2010 season. To prepare for our upcoming nuptials? He’s breaking the six-foot minimum rule. Perhaps I’ll let it slide. He does have an amazing butt chin. And didn’t he score the game winner in June against Chivas USA?
Medhi Ballouchy. 6’0”. 27. Moroccan. Lots of hair. Not impressed.
Roy Miller. 6’2”. 25. Costa Rican. Definite potential.
Bouna Coundoul. Goalkeeper. 6’2”. 28. Not my favorite. But someone should definitely give him a try. Or two.
Mike Petke. 6’2”. 34. Probable retirement after 2010 season. Married with one child. Sad face.
Sadly, Thierry Henry was absent. Resting still? Or snuck out a different door. Carlos Mendes was also not spotted. Personal sad face for me, considering he’s 5’11” 29 and single. Should we go see them play on Thursday? Absolutely. Let the stalking continue.
