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Confessions of a New York Red Bulls Stalker (Part One)

November 1, 2010 — by AmyChiu

New York Red Bulls defeat San Jose Earthquakes 1-0 on Saturday.  Which means what? New York has an advantage when they play San Jose on Thursday, November 4th.  Lovely.  More importantly, a team of happy (and handsome) soccer players landed at John F. Kennedy International Airport the same time my flight from Miami finally decided to pull into the gate. A perfect coincidence.

A few of my besties and I were tired and cranky after a sleepless weekend of Halloween fun.  To boot, our pilot did not make the best landing and took a liking to frequent intercom communication. Anger.  That is until the three of us exited the baggage claim restroom and collectively spun our heads around, halting all conversation. We somehow managed to shuffle ourselves among a group of ridiculously handsome men.  Who are these boys? Where did they come from?

We channeled our high school selves and congregated by the luggage belt. What’s the plan? Sports team? They have to be. Don’t ask. High school? Too young.  College? Still too young.  Matching outfits. Sponsored? What sport?  Matching Adidas. Soccer!  Red Bulls jacket. Ding ding!  Too easy.  A few players stroll past us. What to do? Some wear wedding bands. Eww. Still handsome. Just off limits. Next move?  They are headed to Starbucks. Does someone need coffee?  “Grande pumpkin spice latte, please.”  No coffee for the team. They disappear out the doors and onto a bus.  Should we follow?  “I will give you all the money in my bank account if you get on the bus.” Could be ten dollars.  Could be ten thousand dollars. No takers.  There go our husbands.

Post-stalking, we immediately try to find who we’ve actually fallen in love with.  After quick consultations with Google and the Red Bulls website, we remember the following players:

Hello Miss Chiu 😉

Juan Pablo Angel. Captain. 6’1”. 35. Has at least one child. Possibly married. Outlook not awesome.

Seth Stammler. 5’9”. 29. Retiring after 2010 season. To prepare for our upcoming nuptials? He’s breaking the six-foot minimum rule.  Perhaps I’ll let it slide. He does have an amazing butt chin. And didn’t he score the game winner in June against Chivas USA?

Medhi Ballouchy. 6’0”. 27. Moroccan. Lots of hair. Not impressed.

Roy Miller. 6’2”. 25. Costa Rican. Definite potential.

Bouna Coundoul. Goalkeeper. 6’2”. 28.  Not my favorite. But someone should definitely give him a try. Or two.

Mike Petke. 6’2”. 34. Probable retirement after 2010 season. Married with one child. Sad face.

Sadly, Thierry Henry was absent. Resting still? Or snuck out a different door. Carlos Mendes was also not spotted. Personal sad face for me, considering he’s 5’11” 29 and single. Should we go see them play on Thursday?  Absolutely.  Let the stalking continue.



MVH

MVH: Jesus Navas

July 9, 2010 — by AmyChiu

Jesus saves.

In the highly anticipated semifinal game between Germany and Spain, a Euro Cup 2008 championship rematch, a German octopus is the star and Spain’s bench becomes my top priority.

In case you haven’t heard, Paul, a “psychic” octopus from the Sea Life Aquarium in the city of Oberhausen, has correctly called every World Cup game involving the German team thus far.  And before today’s game, Paul predicted Spain would be victorious. Way to go, octopus!  Your country wants to make you dinner, but at least you were right…

Onto more important things.  Spain’s 1-0 victory will put them in the World Cup final against Netherlands on Sunday.  Sooooo, who are we looking at? Carles Puyol? The lone goal scorer of the Germany v Spain game?  I think not.  He’s got game, but he’s not really a looker.  I think we should take a look at the bench. Jesus Navas.  24 year-old forward born November 21, 1985 in Los Palacios y Villafranca, Seville.  Navas joined the Sevilla FC youth system at 15. Heeeey. Currently, he plays for La Liga club Sevilla FC.

Side note: The blue-eyed muffin suffers from chronic homesickness. Sad face.  He has walked out of training camps within Spain because they were too far away from Seville and has quit playing internationally because anxiety from being away from home.  Big cry baby? Sensitive soul? Toss up.

Thank goodness for us, Navas decided to overcome his condition and play for his country because, “To play for your country is the greatest thing and I hope to be able to, too.”  Sigh. I’m moving to Seville.

MVH

8 Million Stories in the City: USA-Algeria..and Jonathan Bornstein

June 24, 2010 — by AmyChiu

I’ve been recruited by two lovely gentlemen to write this piece because my usual posts on FSM (www.fantasysportsmarket.com …shameless plug) are on hiatus after a heartbreaking Celtics loss in the NBA finals.

I woke up yesterday morning a nervous wreck. A Canadian, who shall remain nameless, taunted me pre the USA v. Slovenia game. Meanie. What happens? We tie. USA v. Algeria this morning. The foreigner better keep his negativity to himself.  Unfortunately, I could not come up with a feasible excuse to skip work to watch the game, so I sucked it up and listened to Spanish radio with my co-worker while sketching on my Wacom tablet.  My Spanish is not that awesome.